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. musebox . - 'cause we can make it, break it / closed
18 June 2018 @ 11:00 pm
'cause we can make it, break it / closed
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( They're getting somewhere, now. Gladiolus feels all his own rising irritation sharply dissipate, replaced by the long-familiar ache in his heart. One that can't be dealt with now, but lingers all the same. A painful reminder of what they keep behind closed doors and draw firm lines over.
Slowly, his hand comes to Ignis' hair, the pause a request for permission before his fingers begin to move through it. It's a big ask, a change not only to Ignis' life, but to all of theirs and now they're without the one man their lives have been constructed around. A breath hisses out between his teeth, eyes flicking around the room, resting on the door yet again.
He wonders... )
Alright. ( He doesn't yet know how to help, not properly, but that can be dealt with tomorrow. Tonight is about calming the man in his arms. )
Anything you need.
Slowly, his hand comes to Ignis' hair, the pause a request for permission before his fingers begin to move through it. It's a big ask, a change not only to Ignis' life, but to all of theirs and now they're without the one man their lives have been constructed around. A breath hisses out between his teeth, eyes flicking around the room, resting on the door yet again.
He wonders... )
Alright. ( He doesn't yet know how to help, not properly, but that can be dealt with tomorrow. Tonight is about calming the man in his arms. )
Anything you need.
[So close to him, Gladio would doubtless feel the way that Ignis relaxes slowly, the way he leans into him and against him in a way he has never needed to before. If he closes his eyes here he can pretend for a moment that when he opens them it won't still be black.
His friend (friend? it seems like such a silly word to call them when he knows they're so much more, and yet... they've never given what they are a name) makes that offer and he exhales a slow breath, concentrating on the movement of Gladio's fingers through his hair and the gentle, simple comfort of it.]
... This is what I need.
[This. Just... this.]
Stay with me.
His friend (friend? it seems like such a silly word to call them when he knows they're so much more, and yet... they've never given what they are a name) makes that offer and he exhales a slow breath, concentrating on the movement of Gladio's fingers through his hair and the gentle, simple comfort of it.]
... This is what I need.
[This. Just... this.]
Stay with me.
( It's different, but he can hardly call it unpleasant, not when the only thing that's stopped the discussion of naming what they are is the simple fact that Gladiolus is almost certain Ignis would wall himself off in fifty different ways if he tried to broach it. Even here and now, there are things worth protecting, things which make this bearable.
He bites that all down. No need to bring up more feelings tonight. )
Let's sit down.
( There's a couch near the door. They can stay there for the moment. )
He bites that all down. No need to bring up more feelings tonight. )
Let's sit down.
( There's a couch near the door. They can stay there for the moment. )
... Alright.
[With the anger gone all that's left is the uncertainty, the worry, the fear, and he feels it eating away at him even as they move across to the couch - Gladio feeling so sure and solid while Ignis holds onto his arm and hopes he doesn't trip.
They make it to the couch without incident. Ignis' steps are far more certain than he would give himself credit for and he sits down carefully, curling his hands against the edge of the cushion. He feels as if he's shaking inside his own skin, tense and nervous and so unlike himself that he doesn't know what to do with any of it.]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that.
Edited 2018-09-08 09:37 pm (UTC)
[With the anger gone all that's left is the uncertainty, the worry, the fear, and he feels it eating away at him even as they move across to the couch - Gladio feeling so sure and solid while Ignis holds onto his arm and hopes he doesn't trip.
They make it to the couch without incident. Ignis' steps are far more certain than he would give himself credit for and he sits down carefully, curling his hands against the edge of the cushion. He feels as if he's shaking inside his own skin, tense and nervous and so unlike himself that he doesn't know what to do with any of it.]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that.
Edited 2018-09-08 09:37 pm (UTC)
( Maybe it's easier to believe in Ignis' capabilities when he can see them for himself. When each step rings with the familiar sureness he has so long associated with the adviser, it's easy to know that he'll be back to his same skilled self with work.
Those things must be harder to recognise in the dark.
Gladio relaxes onto the couch and straightens up almost immediately, leaning elbows onto thighs, threading fingers together as he looks over. There are so many obstacles to overcome and moving forward is the only way Gladio can see them getting through this. Any of it. )
Don't mention it.
( Who is Gladiolus to complain about anyone's angry outbursts, after all.
There's something there, a flare of hope, an awareness of his surroundings which Ignis doesn't seem to realise yet, but perhaps this isn't the time to bring it up. )
Want me to, uh, just listen?
Those things must be harder to recognise in the dark.
Gladio relaxes onto the couch and straightens up almost immediately, leaning elbows onto thighs, threading fingers together as he looks over. There are so many obstacles to overcome and moving forward is the only way Gladio can see them getting through this. Any of it. )
Don't mention it.
( Who is Gladiolus to complain about anyone's angry outbursts, after all.
There's something there, a flare of hope, an awareness of his surroundings which Ignis doesn't seem to realise yet, but perhaps this isn't the time to bring it up. )
Want me to, uh, just listen?
No, I--...
[The words come out muttered, but Gladio said 'don't mention it', and he trails off into silence as he sits there. He can still hear his own voice ringing in his ears, the shouts, the cursing, and Six, someone must have heard it but thanks be to everything that no one has come to investigate. Ignis isn't sure he could take the embarrassment on top of everything else.
Gladio's offer almost makes him smile. Almost, but not quite, as the smallest twitch of a movement pulls at the corner of his mouth and then dies off. He squeezes his fingers around the other man's, taking more comfort in that point of contact than he ever would have thought possible, and there are a few false start of indrawn breaths and unsteady exhales before he manages to speak.]
You can't imagine it. It's... it's terrifying, Gladio. I keep trying to reach for some flicker of colour, some speck of light, and there's... nothing. There's nothing, and it's never going to change.
[The words come out muttered, but Gladio said 'don't mention it', and he trails off into silence as he sits there. He can still hear his own voice ringing in his ears, the shouts, the cursing, and Six, someone must have heard it but thanks be to everything that no one has come to investigate. Ignis isn't sure he could take the embarrassment on top of everything else.
Gladio's offer almost makes him smile. Almost, but not quite, as the smallest twitch of a movement pulls at the corner of his mouth and then dies off. He squeezes his fingers around the other man's, taking more comfort in that point of contact than he ever would have thought possible, and there are a few false start of indrawn breaths and unsteady exhales before he manages to speak.]
You can't imagine it. It's... it's terrifying, Gladio. I keep trying to reach for some flicker of colour, some speck of light, and there's... nothing. There's nothing, and it's never going to change.