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banebu2018-06-18 11:00 pm
manscaping) wrote in banebu2018-06-18 11:00 pm
manscaping) wrote in banebu2018-06-18 11:00 pm
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[That's it, the snap, a reaction even if it wasn't the one that Gladio was looking for. Ignis can feel the frustration building against this conversation like something crawling under his skin and he hates it, he hates how helpless he feels and he hates that he has to voice it, and he hates how terrified he is and that he has no idea, not even the slightest one about what he's supposed to do next.
His outburst comes with a crisp, raised voice, a palm smacked flat against the table, and he declines from saying that he had not mentioned a sword either.]
What do you want from me, Gladiolus? [He hisses out, sharp and angry and--] Gods, who the fuck do you think you are?
[To walk in here, and just-- To just dismiss what's sitting right in front of him? And Ignis is the one who is blind, here?] I can barely walk without someone at my arm, so tell me-- You-- Just tell me, what you expect I'm to do with-- with what's happening out there.
[His hand points directly to the door, without a thought for how he knew exactly where it was in the orientation of the room despite his level of inebriation.]
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(Of course, then they wouldn't be having this argument in the first place.)
Breathe. He has to breathe. Facing the Blademaster taught him to deal with his fear, but never his anger. Never the thing that was most useful as the Shield of the future King, the thing he could sharpen and wield as the personal defence of their royal family. He used it when Noctis freaked out, and when he shut down after Altissia, and look where that got him.
They lost Prompto, and then they lost Noctis.
And now he's about to lose Ignis if he doesn't figure out what to do. Something that isn't just screaming at each other until their throats are raw, that does something about the stumbling in his speech and the brittleness behind the anger, like--
The very thing he had to learn to shrug off to be a better Shield. The reason he travelled to the trials with Cor instead of stick with the group.
He's a fucking idiot for not seeing it sooner, and Gladio pushes himself off the chair, crossing around the width of the table easily and loudly enough to be heard, his fingers brushing the back of Ignis' hand before- )
Hey...
( It's quiet and soft before his arm wraps around Ignis in a gentle hug, something easy to escape if he wants. )
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They've lost everything. He has lost everything. Everything except--
He feels arms come up around him, a sharp tension thrumming through his body in those first moments before his rising fury crumbles under the comfort. Subtly, silently, pressing a hand flat against Gladio's chest and his forehead to the larger man's shoulder.]
... I'm so afraid, Gladio. [Ignis says, curling his fingers into his friend's jacket.] So lost. Help me.
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Slowly, his hand comes to Ignis' hair, the pause a request for permission before his fingers begin to move through it. It's a big ask, a change not only to Ignis' life, but to all of theirs and now they're without the one man their lives have been constructed around. A breath hisses out between his teeth, eyes flicking around the room, resting on the door yet again.
He wonders... )
Alright. ( He doesn't yet know how to help, not properly, but that can be dealt with tomorrow. Tonight is about calming the man in his arms. )
Anything you need.
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His friend (friend? it seems like such a silly word to call them when he knows they're so much more, and yet... they've never given what they are a name) makes that offer and he exhales a slow breath, concentrating on the movement of Gladio's fingers through his hair and the gentle, simple comfort of it.]
... This is what I need.
[This. Just... this.]
Stay with me.
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He bites that all down. No need to bring up more feelings tonight. )
Let's sit down.
( There's a couch near the door. They can stay there for the moment. )
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[With the anger gone all that's left is the uncertainty, the worry, the fear, and he feels it eating away at him even as they move across to the couch - Gladio feeling so sure and solid while Ignis holds onto his arm and hopes he doesn't trip.
They make it to the couch without incident. Ignis' steps are far more certain than he would give himself credit for and he sits down carefully, curling his hands against the edge of the cushion. He feels as if he's shaking inside his own skin, tense and nervous and so unlike himself that he doesn't know what to do with any of it.]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that.
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Those things must be harder to recognise in the dark.
Gladio relaxes onto the couch and straightens up almost immediately, leaning elbows onto thighs, threading fingers together as he looks over. There are so many obstacles to overcome and moving forward is the only way Gladio can see them getting through this. Any of it. )
Don't mention it.
( Who is Gladiolus to complain about anyone's angry outbursts, after all.
There's something there, a flare of hope, an awareness of his surroundings which Ignis doesn't seem to realise yet, but perhaps this isn't the time to bring it up. )
Want me to, uh, just listen?
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[The words come out muttered, but Gladio said 'don't mention it', and he trails off into silence as he sits there. He can still hear his own voice ringing in his ears, the shouts, the cursing, and Six, someone must have heard it but thanks be to everything that no one has come to investigate. Ignis isn't sure he could take the embarrassment on top of everything else.
Gladio's offer almost makes him smile. Almost, but not quite, as the smallest twitch of a movement pulls at the corner of his mouth and then dies off. He squeezes his fingers around the other man's, taking more comfort in that point of contact than he ever would have thought possible, and there are a few false start of indrawn breaths and unsteady exhales before he manages to speak.]
You can't imagine it. It's... it's terrifying, Gladio. I keep trying to reach for some flicker of colour, some speck of light, and there's... nothing. There's nothing, and it's never going to change.