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Ignis "no chill" Scientia | イグニス・スキエンティア (

claritatis) wrote in

banebu on June 25th, 2018 at 06:04 pm

[Gladio has a right to be asking these kinds of questions. A right to ask, and a right to get an answer that isn't some kind of stoic brush-off. Ignis' jaw tenses, his mind resisting against a response that should have been such a simple one to give when his feelings towards the man have developed to an almost searing intensity over the years.

He misses Gladio when they're not together, and duty so often dictates that they stay apart for far longer than he'd like. Coming back to his side is comfortable, like a small part of the home they lost so many years ago is contained solely in the space surrounding him. Being with him in those moments they spend together in private is like a balm, something soothing on a soul and heart so battered by the experiences of the last ten years that keeping the steady, focused veneer upon it has become a full-time effort.

So, then, why does the answer not come easily? Why does his chest tighten and everything in him fight against what he would so dearly wish to say?

Ignis' eyes flicker, focused on nothing, turned in the direction of Gladio's voice but not quite fixing on his face. His fingernails dig into the backs of his knuckles, marking them with shallow crescents.]

... I don't know. [The words come low, near-hesitant as his attention shifts away and down to his clasped hands. It's a quiet, vulnerable, painful kind of honesty that jabs at him as he speaks, but one that he feels Gladio has earned, after everything.]

I thought I did, once. [But so much has changed. Everything has changed. The only constant, steady presence in his life through it all has been the man beside him now, asking him what he wants from this, and he can't even give him the answer that he deserves.]

I don't know what this is anymore.

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